i read like 60 pages of my book today.

i'm back on desktop for a little while today. i've done most all of the initial development of this site using only a mobile web browser and the Neocitiees in-built text editor. the restrictions were part of the fun. I didnt't even start off with a pre-made template, i just coded everything from scratch painstakingly on a non-existent keyboard. a lot of the pages on this site I've never even seen on a desktop browser, let alone made any sort of effort to design for that layout. But there are a lot of things you simply can't do, really, on mobile. yet even now, as i write on my real QWERTY and wait for my image editor to load so i can fiddle around with the logo, the anxiety rises. will i complete this simple, discreet task before the attack sets in and the lid is slammed in frustration? never to look inside the accursed machine until the next delusional ambition begins to itch? perhaps the technical restrictions arent just a part of the fun, they are liberation. know your limits &tc. of course your web site looks crap and is virtually empty, Shen, that's the point. I mean, it's only a free neocities account after all. of course the content is unfinished and of no practical use to anyone else. i didn't make it for them, anyway, its just my own little Pooh corner in which to Eeyore, and that's the point.

see how good that felt? to smash the yoke of trying to be a semi-competent web developer? to emancipate oneself from the burden of running a truly cool and interesting page?

logo updated, and that'll have to do for the moment.

***

sitting amongst the garlic, hemlock, and bluebells. on my own little bench, in my own little haze. colours: vibrant, fresh, and mollifying. but the actual detail degraded many years ago. squint through tunnel vision to pick out the curve of an individual flower or a flutter of life. and then relax the eyes and i'm alone again.