Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
A man walks into a bar and asks for a pint of lager and a packet of helicopter flavour crisps, and the barman says: “Sorry mate, I’ve only got plain.”
I wonder how long it takes them to repair a hearing aid, because I took mine into the shop last week and I’ve heard nothing since...
Why does Kate Bush never turn the heating on at home?
Because she’s running up that bill.
What were Michael Jackson’s pronouns?
(he/he)
Technically Hilarious
The computer repair guy suggested that Arnold Schwarzenegger should update his laptop to Windows 10, but Arnie says: “I still love Vista, baby!”
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary numbers, and those who don't.
How do you know if you’re at a CSS programmer’s house?
There are no tables!
Out of this World
How many ears does Captain Kirk have?
Three: the left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear.
How does the man in The Moon cut his hair?
He clips it.
Have you been to that new bar they’ve opened on The Moon?
The beer is good, but there’s no atmosphere!